How To Lose Your Identity

Photo by Tamara Gak on Unsplash

You are a jaw-dropper. He knows. That is why his tongue keeps wiping off the saliva slobbering at the corner of his lips. Bet a Million bucks his rod is thrust high, probably ripping out of his exorbitant Brioni trouser. Be sure to batter those lush eyelashes of yours as you coquettishly caress the dollar notes he is withdrawing from his account. To spice it up, place a finger on your tongue amorously. Pout your lips and release a modest curse as to the unreliability of the bank’s counting machine as you proceed to place gentle strokes on the notes. Offer him a shy smile as you do so. Watch him shift in his seat in unease, a cough stuck in his throat.

“Umm… Nura, you said you did not have a cell phone, right?”

Scrunch up your face in disinterest. “It’s a choice, not a constraint.” Your voice is pugnacious. A firm indicator of your financial independence. You do not need his “CEO money” that he probably flaunts to every spring chicken crossing his path. No, thank you. The bank pays you well. You have your five thousand dollars human hair to prove that, a gleaming skin that matches up to the radiance of the moon, and juicy meat chunked at the right places on your hourglass body.

A nervous cackle escapes your suitor. Descry his hand get buried in his pocket, twist, and haul out a mammoth of a phone. Your heart leaps out of your chest. The new iPhone 12 Pro. Damn it, if there is a thing that tests your stance against the use of cell phones, it is the intoxicating existence of the iPhone 12 pro. You know you want the phone even though you swore never to acquire a phone after you lost your brother from a ‘selfie accident’.

“I… Uh… bought you this phone. Hope you do not mind. It’s just that I trust you and I need someone to update me whenever money is deposited in my account, or if I want an eft done…”

Titter. What a cheap pickup line, but who cares? You could use a sponsor, for the fun of it. Recall the daily wrangles you have with your boyfriend and cherish in the image of drowning your sorrows with the money and time of an older, wealthier man.

“I can’t…” Modesty is the key to grabbing his attention by the balls.

“Please… It’s just business.” You know it is not, but you accede anyway.

“You know he is married, right?” Ignore the jealous comment of your workmate. It is times like these you wish your cubicles did not have glass panels.

Over the next several weeks, relish the advantages of your stately freebie. Better selfies! More social media followers. Envious eyes that flutter furiously at the sight of the ‘gold’ on your hand. Drown in the newfound respect people pay you as the iPhone 12 Pro is considered royalty. It is the Lamborghini of phones. Acknowledge that having a cell phone is not so bad after all, aside from the obvious communication feature, you get apps that help you keep in shape, improve your pathetic cooking skills, and mostly, help you ‘cheat safely’ with a married man. Phone sex is expedient! You get the benefits of ripping him off his wealth without paying for it physically.

Over time, ignore the fact that you are getting addicted to the opulence showered to you by your sponsor, whom you now view as your lover, your companion. Three weeks ago, you dumped your boyfriend because he failed to twig the need for you to share every intimate moment you shared online. What is the use of the iPhone 12 Pro if not take stunning images? He no longer gets you; you had to do away with him. Thankfully, you had the commiseration of your online followers and your sponsor as they offered their heartfelt apologies. Though you have known them for only a heartbeat, they twig you more than your boyfriend of five years did.

On a dinner date with your sponsor now turned official boyfriend, drink in the complexity of his beauty. Old age has trampled and rumpled his face. The skin around his neck sags like a turkey’s. Boobs protrude from his chest. Paunch rests loosely on the table. Head holds hair that is akin to charred grass. Wonder what took you so long to notice his beauty.

Smiling, cover his hand with yours and click your tongue when his wife calls. Listen to him stutter an excuse. Struggle with jealousy suffocating your sanity. When he returns and announces he has to leave because his wife is in labor, feign concern.

“A taxi will drop you home.” He says, beating a hasty retreat, leaving you to chew on your bitterness. Shut your eyes and take slow deep breaths, quelling down the fire raging in your chest. When you open your eyes, your beloved iPhone is glowing at you. That is when it hits you. You are an iPhone 12 Pro. You are a trophy girlfriend. That is why he chose you. You are more attractive. You have better features than his wife. Irrefutably more efficient in bed. His wife got nothing on you. Recognize the urgency to jog his memory on the same. The wife is obsolescent. She has got to go. Your lips quirk up into a smile. It is clear that you now have a new purpose in life — striving to upgrade your game so that your lover may rid himself of the misery of his ancient wife.

The first step is to prey on his wife. Learn everything there is to know about your competition before going in for the attack. Download the app on your phone that will assist you to hack into your lover’s contacts, emails, and phone gallery. That way you will not only have a contact but a photo id of your competition. Smirk when you seize a family photo on his phone gallery. Twins that bear semblance to their father and a lady that resembles the old witch in snow white’s fairy tale. No wonder he preyed on you. Enraptured, take a selfie to the world and enlighten them of your sky-high mood. Mirror mirror on a stick, who has the fairest profile pic? That is your bodacious tagline for the day.

Rejuvenated, throw caution to the wind and surprise your lover with a dinner date at the luxurious cabin he always takes you to on Friday nights. Don the see-through black lace gown that generates a futile attempt at covering your luscious womanly gifts of nature. Let the air caress your cheeks as you drive past traffic, your eyes capturing the live advertising of the new and improved iPhone 13 Pro Max on the billboards.

Park your car far away from the cabin, and stealthily creep towards the porch. Register voices inside the cabin and struggle to manage the panic frisking your heart in your chest. He could not have possibly brought his wife to your secret romantic cave! Clenching your teeth, bend quietly and peep into the glass window. Mortified, witness your lover tangled up in a passionate embrace with a very attractive lady. Younger than you, slimmer than you, prettier than you. Watch as your lover buries his hand in his pocket and fling out a boxed gift covered in exotic gold wrapping paper. The hot girl rips the wrap gluttonously. Your heart explodes as you espy the gift presented to her. The new iPhone 13 Pro Max!

Did you enjoy this piece? Are you a fiction lover? You might be interested in reading a romance/mystery/suspense novel that I wrote on the link below.

--

--

--

There will be obstacles, they will be doubts, they will be mistakes. But the only person/thing standing against you and your success is you. Fight for it.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Arabic (Egypt) [informal] Sa’ida

Bezi shop Customer care number/9801163604=9883380288Bezi shop Customer care…

Shark Survives Man Attack

Rendevous in Crazy Town

You Can’t Beat This

Monday Momma

Why are you crying? Is it true that you’re going around

Lost Triple D Intros: Vol. 1

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Naima Mwatsahu

Naima Mwatsahu

There will be obstacles, they will be doubts, they will be mistakes. But the only person/thing standing against you and your success is you. Fight for it.

More from Medium

Meaningful Women’s Smiles

There May be Hope for Humanity After All

Individual letter tiles spelling out HOPE on a world map background.

Why don’t we keep in touch? We can postpone… until we can’t anymore.

Last night, one of my tweets blew up